Getting back on the wagon

So I'm no longer running along side the wagon...I'm hanging off the back. It isn't the best place to be but I'm on my way to getting securely in the wagon. This weekend I did OK with eating. Friday night we went out for Italian and it was delicious. But there was way too much of it and I ate it because I was starving. I think J and I need to start sharing orders or I need to box up half of it when the serve it. Because if it is in front of me I keep snacking. And I don't need to.

But Saturday was much better. J had duty at work so we were up at 5:00 AM. I had a meeting with a florist at 8:00 AM. So I decided since the Y was on my way home from the florist I'd go in my workout attire. Which I think through off the florist a bit. But who cares it was 8:00 AM on a Saturday. So I went to the gym and did 30 minutes on the Arc then I did 45 minutes of weights. It was good to be back. I came home showered and laid down to wait for J to get home from duty. Saturday afternoon we went to lunch/dinner at 5 Guys. Which is not the most healthy but I felt OK about it since I'd worked out and I knew that was my main meal for the day.

Sunday we got up sent J to duty. I kept the dogs out of trouble. When he got home we got ready and went to church. After church we went to Michael's to pick up our lamps for our centerpieces. We stopped by Wendy's for lunch. I had a Chicken Club sandwich but I only ate half. I had some french fries. But my worst downfall is Coke. I love Coke. I actually think that sweet stuff to me is like nicotine to J. I have to have it...I get grumpy without it...I feel better with it.

Love is...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-6

The part of this verse that has been striking a cord with me a lot lately is "it keeps no record of wrongs." I am a firm believer in the philosophy of forgive...but hold onto it forever. I am working on this. I know it is not healthy. I know that you haven't really forgiven if you keep the record of wrongs. When J and I went through our "pre-marital" counseling recently our wonderful Pastor had us read this passage and focused in particular on the part about letting go and not keeping a record of wrongs. But he told us that God played a horrible trick on us women because he gave us an amazing memory. So we have the ability to remember the wrongs but the grace to let them go.

I think God forgot to give me the grace to let them go. Currently we are dealing with an issue with an acquaintance who shall be referred to as S from here on out. S has a tendency to call when something is needed. And has on more than one occasion made the situation seem like S wants to come spend time with us...but while I'm there can you do? or can I use? or can I...? or can you...? It is tough because I'm not sure S is aware of this behavior but it is causing a wedge. J and I think we should talk to S about this but we're not sure it would do any good. But in communication it is always important to communicate your feelings even if the other side doesn't hear them at least you have done what you could. But S has a tendency to take things a bit personally so we don't want to make it feel like an attack. And we are trying to let go of the past things but at the same time we don't want to be doormats either.

So we're praying about this situation and how to deal with it. And in the meantime we are trying to forget...as well as forgive....

Creativity is rearing her head

I've talked on and off about looking into some other creative outlets. I think I've found it. I'm going to continue working with beads and making beaded jewelry because that will always be a passion. But I'm also going to take classes on Adobe InDesign, Photoshop, and Illustrator so I can be more efficient and professional at desktop publishing and web design.

I think work will even pay for the classes because it would relate to my job. We'll see.

She has the crud...

Last week was a bit of a wash for working out for a number of reasons. This week hasn't been much better due to being under the weather. I stayed home from work sick on Monday and have been napping in the mornings after J leaves to try and catch up on my sleep. Perhaps tomorrow I'll try and get there. We'll see.

We had our pictures taken Friday and although they turned out good I really don't like the way I look. I look dumpy. It is a delusion really...that I've lived under that I look really don't look as big as I do. So when I saw the pictures I was disappointed and shocked at my size. So next week is my restart...

I want to feel better about how I look and feel.

I Love Working Out

So I hadn't been to the gym for the past two mornings because I needed to not wash my hair before my appointment. So vanity won out. This morning I was back...and I did 20 minutes on the crosstrainer and then 40 minutes on weights. It felt good. I was so not prepared though...I forgot my headband to hold my hair back. I forgot my iPod. But they play music and I was able to get my hair back with a ponytail.

I had something happen that hadn't happened before...I had a Zen moment if you will on the weights where I was in a groove and just kept going it was great.

My first 5K

So this weekend was filled once again...but fortunately not a food fest.

Friday after work I went to the salon to get my hair back to my natural color. I got there at 3:30 PM. I didn't leave until 8:00 PM. I had dyed my hair black and so it had to be bleached three times to get the color out. Then she put a glaze and a few highlights to brighten it back up again. Apparently 3 times of being bleached is rough on hair... who'd of thunk. But Carol did an amazing job. When I got home J was in a bit of an off mood and I was exhausted. So when he hit me with the idea of going me going to our friends' house to spend time with K while he went to see "Paranormal Activity" with R I thought he was crazy. But it worked out she was exhausted and not up for it so the boys went to the movie on their own. He tried to talk me into going but I knew I would not like scary so I passed. He got home late and said it was the scariest movie he'd ever seen. So glad I didn't go...I cleaned house instead. Much better...

Saturday we went with our friends Traci and Sheila and Traci's guy, Gary to walk/run the 5K at the Shipyard. J ran it, Traci and Gary ran/walked it, and Sheila and I walked it. All and all we were happy. Then we went to IHOP for breakfast which was good because we were starving. When we got home I showered and went to Pin Ups for my haircut. (It was supposed to happen last night but it was so late it got rescheduled to today) It turned out great...Jackie is amazing. Then I got home relaxed a bit and we went to Johnny and Rachael's for their open house. We had fun and good food. Then we stopped at Tony's for a bit and came home.

Sunday we went to church...then we stopped by Rod and Kendra's to pick up our heater. We hung out for a bit talking to Rod and Kendra. They are wonderful people. Then we went to lunch/dinner with Mom and Dad at the German restaurant. Very yummy! Then we went to Care-a-Lot for pet stuff and to Food Lion for people stuff. Then home. All and all a good weekend but way too short.

Pumpin' Iron

So today was my first day doing weights on my own. I went in and did 20 minutes on the Cybex Arc Trainer which I love because I burn more calories in less time. Whoo hoo. Then I started my 10 machine workout as assigned by my trainer. I worked my arms, legs, abs, and back. It was good. Right now I'm doing 2 sets of 8 reps. I haven't done weights in a while so I wanted to be nice to myself and start out slow. It felt good.

So my plan is

• Monday=20 minute cardio + 40-45 minute weights
• Tuesday=45-50 minute cardio
• Wednesday=20 minute cardio + 40-45 minute weights
• Thursday=45-50 minute cardio
• Friday=20 minute cardio + 40-45 minute weights
• Saturday=Activity of some sort
• Sunday=rest

This week though I have a 5K on Saturday and I missed Tuesday's workout so I'm thinking those kind of balance each other.

Food wise I'm doing better the past couple of days. But still not getting all the fruits and vegetables I should. But I'm eating better than I have been.