Mil Spouse Weekly Roundup # 56

 

Head over to Iron and Sunshine and link up.

Addicted

I am realizing I have an addictive personality. I have three major addictions. Food, TV, and biting my nails. I have managed to control my nail biting since about 2003. I still pick but overall I leave them alone. As for TV and Food they are harder.

I love food. I love sweet. I love spicy. I love salty. I love grilled. I love fried. I think you get the picture. I once described to my husband the sensation I get eating a piece of chocolate or drinking a Coke he laughed and said it sounded like a cigarette. I honestly think it is similar. There are days where I lust after chocolate or Coke. I'm working on this and I admit planning ahead is the biggest help for me. If I keep myself full of good stuff I crave less. Also if I allow myself to feel my feelings instead of hiding them with food I do better.

Now TV is a different creature altogether. I have a DVR so I just set it to record everything I want to watch then I go back and watch it. I spend less time watching because I skip commercials but I still spend a lot of time watching. I think right now it is my company. With J being gone being at home can get a little lonely and my beloved dogs can only do so much. So I keep the TV on to entertain and keep myself company. I know that TV is not the best thing to connect with but for now it will remain an addiction. Although tonight I'm going to go to the Y to workout and hopefully watch Charlie's Angels. I'll see how that goes.

What are your addictions?

Unrealistic Weightloss

There seems to be a trend of extreme weight loss shows of late. The Biggest Loser, Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition and I Used to Be Fat to name a few. I've watched The Biggest Loser and Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition.Yesterday I watched I Used to Be Fat on MTV for the first time. I enjoy watching these shows because usually the stories are inspirational.But I worry about these shows because they have unrealistic weightloss in my opinion.

On I Used to Be Fat they have 110-115 days to lose their goal weight and on the couple of episodes the girls were trying to lose 90 lbs. They succeeded and they looked great at the end. But for one girl she went to the gym from 9-2 then worked from 4-9 and then came home and slept. She had no life outside work and and working out. And from what I can tell Biggest Loser and Extreme Makeover have similar work-out schedules. Now I realize these are people in extreme weight loss situations who are trying to lose large amounts of weight but I think it sets an unrealistic outlook for the average watcher.

Yet as I watch I think wow...90 lbs in 100 days that's pretty sweet. And I get inspired to eat better and exercise more. So maybe the shows serve a purpose to give us a jump-start, realizing that we won't be able to do exactly what they do because we don't have a live-in personal trainer or the flexibility in our schedules to work out for 4-5 hours a day. But that we can make time in our schedule to work out, eat well, and take care of ourselves.

So do you think extreme weight loss shows are a good thing?

Nook vs Kindle

So I'm a reader...I have a ton of books. My husband hates my book collection because they take up space. I've cleaned out the one time reading books but still I have a collection. So my husband is encouraging me to get a digital reader. But now I'm confused. I don't know if I want to go with the nook or the kindle. I've heard good things about both. I liked the color aspect of the nook but now the kindle has color too. I've been told for straight reading that the kindle is really better. I'm thinking of adding this to my Christmas list.

For those of you who have them what are your likes and dislikes?

Happiness is...

An email from your hubby who is halfway around the world and whom you haven't heard from in a while. I admit I got spoiled while he was in port over there because at least we could talk or text daily. When he's underway it is more touch and go depending on his schedule and computer availability. But he is doing OK but he breaks my heart when he says I'm his stability and sometimes he feels lost without me. We are about 1/3 of the way through this insanity. And we won't get to see each other again until next year sometime. But at least there is the light at the end of the tunnel that I'll get him back for a month.

In the meantime I'm focusing on me and weight loss. I really want to get healthier but I also want to surprise the socks (and other articles of clothing) off him.

Starting Anew & Epiphanies

I've wrestled with my weight since I was 10 years old. I was in 4th grade and at the beginning of the year I was a petite little girl. By the end of the year I was wearing "husky" sizes and I looked like a weeble pudgy little girl. That was the year I learned we were moving from Alaska to Maine. I had never really known anything else, I started school in Alaska, all my friends were there, and everything I knew was there. My mother and brother also struggled with the move so our household became an emotional eating mess.

Since then I've wrestled with getting the pounds off. When I was a junior in high school I lost weight. Then I gained it back during my senior year and my freshman year of college. Then during my sophomore year of college I lost it again. Then I met my ex-husband and the pounds piled back on due to an unhealthy diet and emotional eating. Since then I have lost no more than 20 pounds each time I try to lose weight. I wasn't sure what the wall was until I was journaling recently. I have come to realize that I'm afraid of the attention that comes from being thinner, being hurt, and fear of failure. 

To use a phrase that a co-worker loves...let's unpack this a bit...

Issue #1 - Fear of attention that comes from being thinner...
I am a behind the scenes kinda girl. When I go out in a group I like to look sexy and put together but I'm not over the top or anything. Although I do like a bit of cleavage. But I'm not the big attention getter if you will. I like to be in a small circle of friends. And I don't like to be center of attention at all. In my experience if you are thinner (aka sexier) you get more attention. I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

Issue # 2 - Fear of being hurt...
A number of people in my life are victims of sexual assault and most of them were thin when it happened. Now I know from a logical stand point that weight doesn't prevent or increase your likelihood of you getting sexually assaulted, victims can be all sizes. But because of hearing about it at a young age (early teens) I think it was always in the back of my head that is you were thin you were more sexually attractive and thus more likely to be attacked. I never said these fears were rational.

Issue # 3 - Fear of Failure...
I've long had a fear of failure. I am a procrastinator extraordinaire because if I wait til the last minute and it doesn't go or turn out well it is because I rushed it. I've been told I'm a closet perfectionist and that I quit things half way or wait til the last minute because then it can't be perfect. That is how I view a lot of things surrounding weight loss.

• If I can't work out for an hour why workout at all. 
• If I can't eat everything healthy why bother eating anything healthy.
• If I can't get to my dance class why bother doing anything that night.
• If I can't take the dogs for a 30 minute walk each why bother walking them at all.

I think you see the pattern. Things have to be all the way or not at all. I've been working on this but it is a big hurtle for me to get over.

Tonight marks the beginning of my fourth session with First Place 4 Health. I admit part of me is looking forward to starting again and part of me is tired and wants to go home.  I said I would give God a year. The end of this 12 week session will be the year. I don't feel like I've seen a big change in my living. I don't feel more balanced. I'm hoping I can use this to get back on track. We'll see. Say a prayer for me.


   

Product Love

A friend of mine turned me on to this product and I love it! It is fun! It adds a bit of glitter liner to any eye look without looking over the top. It is especially fun around black lights. If you're looking for a little sparkle I suggest you check it out. Next time I wear it I'll make sure to take a picture.