Mil Spouse Weekly Round Up

 

Head over to Consider The Lilies and link up.

Girl Power and Why We Need to Claim It

Studio Rio, Virginia Beach, VA

As I mentioned earlier I've been taking the Beginner Series Class at Studio Rio for the past few weeks on Monday nights. Next week is our last class. (Frowning Face) Ultimately we will have a seductive dance routine to perform for our loved ones. I will tell you I have never done dance classes ever in my life. I've worked out and done some aerobic classes but nothing like this. It works parts of your body you didn't know you had (or at least I didn't). Last week's class left my legs and core sore to the point that getting up and down from a chair was an experience that required not only psyching myself up but also a few expletives. This week we worked with poles and I loved it!! I want to do more. I feel awkward but it is invigorating and freeing. And such a good workout. But I have a tighter core, better posture and I've lost a few inches in the course of this class. I'm also feeling more coordinated. As I told J when I talked to him this morning it is a great experience for me that he will benefit from as well.

But the biggest thing for me is the confidence that I'm feeling. I have had a number of confidence destroying experiences in my life. Some of them I have worked to overcome and some of them are always deeply buried in there for me. In this class there are women of all shapes and sizes and all ages. We come from all walks of life with all different experiences. I admit I figured when I saw these size 6 girls that they would nail it but they are as unsure as the rest of us. It has been fun and an awesome experience. We are in a sisterhood. We support each other. We laugh. We huff and puff. And it is great!

Last night we got to talking about our lives and the experiences after class. In particular about men. Rio the owner talked about her first marriage and divorce. She talked about how much power she gave her first husband to control who she was and how she felt about herself. As I listened to her I got to thinking that as women we often give other people a lot of power over us. We often let their opinions determine how we feel about ourselves. We are often our own worst enemy. And we need to claim our girl power back. We are amazing women who have many great characteristics, great skills, great beauty inside and out (no matter what our size), great compassion, and great love. We just need to apply that great love to ourselves. I know that is often easier said than done for myself but I'm working on it and this class is helping. It is helping me channel my inner hot girl, my inner bad ass, and my inner confidence. J has always loved me just as I am, where I am...now I'm just trying to get where he is too.

I'm not saying everyone needs to go take seductive dance classes but everyone needs to do something for themselves. It does need to be all about you one occasion. Girl Power rocks!!

So what do you do for yourself? Or what are you going to do for yourself?

I Will Thrive - Deployment Donut of Misery

So I used the Excel spreadsheet someone had sent me to set up my Donut of Misery. When you are going through a multiple year deployment this can be a little daunting. But I decided to do it none the less. It says we still have a long way to go but we are 14% done!!

Total weeks: 144.14
Weeks done: 20.82
Weeks To-Go: 123.33

Wisdom from Chinese Food

My fortune from last night's Chinese dinner...

A goal is a dream with a deadline.

Mil Spouse Weekly Round Up

 

Head over to The Whole FamDamily and link up.

Words for Women to Live By

1. Aspire to be Barbie – the girl has everything.
2. If the shoe fits – buy them in every color.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt… A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
4. In need of a support group? – Cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I’m on it and so far I’ve lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down – just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
8. I know I’m in my own little world, but it’s ok. They know me here.
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
10. Don’t get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
11. When life gives you lemons – turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.
12. Remember where ever there is a good looking; sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his crap!
13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.
14. If it has Tires or Testicles it’s gonna give you trouble.
15.  By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she’s wrong.

‘Good friends are like stars…You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there’

‘Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today’.

Happy Valentine's Day - I guess

Ok so I thought I was doing so well with J being gone. I have it under control. I'm good. Yeah until I  ate a box of Russell Stover chocolates (only 3 chocolates but still), a Cadbury Creme Egg, and half a Mounds bar. I guess I'm a little bothered that J isn't here when everyone else is talking about plans with their sweethearts. I'm not hating on them really I'm not but it is a bit of a reminder that J is absent. The good news is after being on email silence for a few days he was able to email me yesterday so at least I got to talk to him.

The other good news...I have week two of my exotic dance class (more on that in another post) tonight and last week it worked by butt off. So I'll earn a lot of exercise calories to burn off my chocolate blunders.

Mil Spouse Weekly Roundup

 

Head over to The Lowe Family News and link up.

First Place 4 Health - Weight loss journey

When I was born the doctors were concerned because I was so little. They were worried I was underfed. I was on the low end of the weight chart for most of my early childhood. And then I hit 4th grade...it is weird for some reason that year we had two pictures taken one at the beginning of the year and one at the end. At the beginning I was skinny and slim faced by the end my face was round. Two things happened my 4th grade year. The first I hit puberty but that only brought a little weight. The second we learned we were moving to Maine from Alaska. I'd lived there since I was two I didn't know anywhere else. My mother was very very connected to her church and had a hard time with this move. Because of this there was a lot of emotional eating in our household. Lots of baked goods, high fat foods, and lots of trips to McDonald's and Mister Donut. Our trek from Alaska to Maine included lots of stops at McDonald's and Dairy Queen and very little activity.

Since then I've struggled with my weight. I was always heavier than most of my friends. In high school I had some luck losing weight but I gained it back my senior year. Then in college I lost some weight. But when I got into the relationship with my now ex-husband I gained a lot of weight due to emotional eating and unhealthy meals. I will say this I'm excellent with maintenance. I've remained within about 5-10 pounds of that weight. I've had several 10-15 pound loses but then I have 10-20 pound gains.

This time is different. So far since January 6th I've lost 6 lbs and every week I've had a loss. And here are some of my thoughts on why...

• I'm leading the class so I want to be a good example
• I'm not making drastic changes but I am making changes
• I'm trying to sneak in activity 
• I don't feel deprived
• I've almost completely given up my Coke drinking addiction (I occasionally have a kids Coke at a fast food resturant)
• I'm getting balanced with mind, body, spirit, and heart
• I'm doing Bible study daily
• I'm putting more faith in God and myself
• I'm putting Christ first in my life
• I'm putting myself first

I'm hoping the success continues because J and I are planning on meeting the end of this year and I want to knock his socks and possibly other articles of clothing off. Both of us are getting healthier...he's lost 20 lbs since he left.

I Will Thrive - Deployment Observations from both sides

Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great. ~ Roger de Rabutin
Absence makes the heart grow fonder but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.~ Charlie Brown

Wife on a Roller Coaster wrote a great article about deployments and how sometimes you have to let your heart grow a little fungus to survive it. You can read the article here.

And her article got me thinking about how the military person and the spouse have two different roles in deployment. So I talked to J about it. He agreed. Here are some of the conclusions we've come too.

• Although it is difficult for both sides they each have their coping methods and their own set of hardships that the other may never understand. 
• My husband determined in some ways it is easier for the person being deployed because they are on a ship or in a desert with people going through the same thing. And they have many tasks and new things to keep them busy where the spouse is going through the same routine every day (so to speak) just without their spouse.
• Communication in whatever form you can get it helps so much and we are blessed to live in a technology world.
• If something is going to go wrong with the house, the car, or the pets, etc it will happen right after they deploy.
• Finances become fun when you are both pulling from the same account and you are 12 hours different time wise.
• Pictures help a lot.
• You will both worry about the other but for different reasons. 
• Neither one of you can solve the other's problems. Especially from 9000 miles away even though you would desperately love to do so. So just let them vent.
• As the spouse you don't need to tell them every detail of a situation especially since they can't help you from across the world. Filtering is good. It breaks their heart that they can't fix it.
• As the spouse there are somethings you cannot know about what the military person or their ship (or unit) may be doing. Accept this and your life will be easier. On that same vein...you may not hear from them for a day or two do not assume the worst. 
• If your military person is on a ship get in contact with the Umbudsman. She/He can and should be a great resource for you.
• Have faith in God and your relationship! That is the best thing you can do for yourselves. Pray often!!

Mil Spouse Roundup

 

I love Fridays because it means Mil Spouse Weekly Roundup. It is a great group of ladies with great blogs!
If your a military spouse or girlfriend head over to No Model Lady and link up.

Book Review - Give God a Year

 

As I've mentioned I've started leading First Place 4 Heath at the church where I work. It is a four-sided approach to weight loss. It focuses on the mind (scripture memorization, keeping a "live it tracker"), strength (exercise, eat well), soul (prayer, Bible Study, Scripture reading), and heart (connect with other at meetings, offer intentional acts of encouragement) to get us more balanced in our lives. Their attitude is "give us a year." So I've committed to lead this class for a year. So far it has served me well I've lost 5lbs since January 6th. I'm pleased.

As part of this I decided to read Carole Lewis' book Give God a Year, Change Your Life Forever. If you are wrestling with parts of your life particularly your relationship with God I cannot recommend this book enough. It has chapter titles like "Accepting the Challenge," "God's Will for Us," "Attitude is everything," and "Emotional Healing." How would our lives be different if we gave God a year to change and work in us? I'm making a pledge to give First Place a year and to give God a year.