Thursday, April 30, 2009

Log vs. Splinter

So...this post is as much confession as anything else. And it is fairly wide open...

I can tell you, your brother, your mother, your dog, your neighbor, etc what their splinter is...but I would be appalled for you to tell me mine let alone my log. I know I know it isn't fair. But I'm good at it. I'm not sure where the fine tuning of this skill came from...I have some guesses but those are most definitely for another day. But I really really have a problem judging behaviors that I wouldn't do while ignoring the ones I do...do.

J is a smoker...he quit back in August and did great (well we had some hills along the way but overall it was great) until end of January...beginning of February. Then he started with a trickle...one here...two there...ten on a stressful day. Recently he started smoking full time again and I admit I was frustrated. Because he did so good for so long. And I am very quick to judge because I don't smoke...never have...and can't imagine I ever will. And apparently I'm a bit vocal in my judgment because he pointed out to me in a very nice way. That sometimes I have a gift for making him feel horrible for smoking. Now my initial thought was good but then I realized how unsupportive I've been. Smoking is an addiction. A legal addiction but an addiction and it takes time, dedication, and patience to quit. And he is trying...and I love him and support him in whatever he does.

Unfortunately I tend to go with the theory..."the worst sin is the one you wouldn't commit" I'm not saying smoking is a sin I'm simply saying it is easy for me to judge because I don't do it. And I think that is true in most things. It isn't fair I know...but I'm human...

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