Monday, April 30, 2012

I Will Thrive: Asking for Help

Most Sundays the sermons are good this past Sunday it was a 2x4. It came from 2 Kings 4:1-7 which is the story of the widow who is in danger of losing her sons to pay her husband's debts. She took her concerns to Elisha who's response was "What shall I do for you?." He then told her to go to all of her neighbors and collect pots to put the oil in her house in. She had more than enough oil to fill the pots and when she sold the pots of oil she had more than enough money to save her sons and take care of them. The pastor confessed initially when he heard this story as a child he thought it was about a money or an oil shortage but in reality it was a story about a faith shortage. She had gotten in a rut which became a crisis. And she had not gone to her community until it was almost too late.

He went on to say that in our society today we so often do the same thing she did because we are uncomfortable asking for help. According to him asking for help is not a walk of shame but a walk of faith, with Christ we have community and we should embrace it and allow it to embrace us. He then asked us...are we ready to help our neighbors? Are we ready to ask for help?

This got me thinking about my experiences with this deployment. I read many military blogs and many tell the tales of their spouse being deployed. On many of the pages I read stories about how they rock at deployment, that deployment isn't so bad, etc sort of a I'm a military wife hear me roar kind of thing. And I admit when I first started this deployment back in September of 2010 I took sort of the same attitude. I thought I've lived on my own I can handle this I'll be great. Yeah well somewhere along the way I got slapped with reality. Yes I have lived on my own. Yes I have survived just fine without my husband before he came into my life. Yes I can do this. But I became accustomed to having my husband around the house for company, to help me with things, to do things I don't like doing, to help clean house, help take care of the dogs, for moral support, and yes for physical affection. I am not good at asking for help. 

If I'm having a rough day because I miss him I usually keep it to myself. My yard is mowed by my wonderful neighbor but I need some other yard stuff done like weeding and hedge trimming and I don't ask for help even-though there are people who would be happy to do so. Last Sunday I sat in my driveway on the verge of tears because I missed him so much and I contemplated going to my neighbors house or one of my other friends' houses but I didn't. The reality is if I had gone they would have welcomed me and supported me with open arms, a shoulder, and an ear. But they can't help if I don't ask. I'm getting better. I told my neighbor about it after the fact and she about smacked me for not coming over.

I guess what I'm saying is we are not an island and we don't have to do this alone. We are part of a community whether it is a church community, a military community, or a physical community we belong and we should call upon them. We would want them to call upon us so we need to lead by example and have faith. So ask for help! And be there when your friends and neighbors ask for help.


Rebecca Jo said...

Its so true... we dont want to 'bother' anyone.. but dont we feel better when we actually HELP someone? But no one wants to be the one who needs the help. A weird cycle really...

Good food for thought.

And I guarantee you're not alone in feeling that way about the deployment... just no one wants to speak up, but when someone does, everyone follows with a "me too!"