Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Be True to Yourself

I watched the movie "What's Your Number?" last night and it is a funny and sweet movie that I recommend. It was definitely worth the watch. Without giving away the story too much the main character was trying to find Mr. Right by going back through her exes. And she was also trying to find herself and her future.

Part of the story line was how she changed herself to fit each guy. And I got to thinking about how many of us have done or do that in our romantic lives. I started looking back at my exes and my relationship with them. The main one was my ex-husband he wanted a quiet, demure, Mrs. Beaver type housewife, who had the house spotless and dinner on the table all while wearing pearls. He wanted a very conservative wife both in personality and dress. I tried desperately for 7 years to be that person until I woke up and realized that was not who I was, who I wanted to be, or who I should be.

After our divorce I dated another ex (seemed like a good idea at the time) which ended up in me trying to conform once again to his needs. When that relationship ended. I spent some much needed time single. During this time I looked deep into myself to determine who I was, what made me happy, what ticked me off, and what I couldn't care less about. I realized where I stood politically, where I stood on major issues, and where I stood on silly stuff. I realized a lot about myself in the two years I took off from dating. Then after much thought and work on myself I jumped back into the dating pool. I thought I had it all under control.

But I realized I was slipping into my old habits with a guy I was interested in. I was getting into things he was interested in to impress him. Old Megan was coming back. So I stepped away again while I got my head right. Then I took a leap and went back into the online dating world again. I put my faith in God and my gut. If I listened to both I knew I would find the right guy for me who loved me for me.

I did. I found my husband. He loves me for who I am, where I am. He isn't trying to find 100 ways to change me. In our per-marital counseling when asked what we would change about each other. He said "absolutely nothing she's perfect to me." Yeah he scored points. But what we realized is that we loved each other as we were and we wanted to grow together. That doesn't mean we won't change. Change is inevitable but we want to change and grow together not change each other.