Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Clingy? Who Me?

As I have mentioned before I have a degree in Communication. I had to take classes in healthy ways to express your feelings. I know what you should do and what you shouldn't do as far as communication. (In theory) But I admit every now and then (probably more often if I admit) I have a break down in my communication skills. Last night was one of those nights...

First the background...
Since I began dating J I have changed in my desires...I used to go out with friends all the time. I used to never be at home. I would eat out a lot. Now if I have the option to stay home with J (or do something with J) vs going out without him...I usually pick doing something that includes him. I understand time with girlfriends is important but I enjoy spending time with J.

And because he is on shore duty I have been spoiled. I have him home almost every night. With the exception of a business trip on his part.

Current day...
He is out of town this week...he left at the unmentionable hour of 5:00 AM Sunday morning and won't be back until Saturday night. And I got a bit misty at the airport after I dropped him off. This is unusual for me. And I think part of it is that work is kicking my butt lately so my weeks are long and tiring and I don't have the energy I need.

Sunday when he arrived in San Diego it was afternoon there and evening here. We texted for a bit then he went to lay down for a nap before dinner. We talked a little bit more later that evening. Monday after his work he went for a run...called me for 5 minutes...and then got ready to go to dinner. Yesterday he got back to his room and wanted to nap before dinner so I got about 5 minutes of texting. And that is when it hit the fan...I told him that I felt like I was getting squeezed in, in between them. And he didn't take it well. (Both of us were tired) We talked about it but the resolution didn't seem to be coming because both of us were arguing but not listening. He felt that 5 minutes was sufficient because of the time difference and I felt 15 minutes wasn't unreasonable. He finally determined that he wasn't really seeing it from my side of view and I acknowledged that I needed to have some flexibility. So we compromised...

It is amazing to me how two adults can communicate around each other. And I admit I didn't handle it well and there are a million ways I could have handled it better. But I'm a bottler and when the cap comes off...the cap comes off. And I think a few things were in play...
  • We were tired
  • I admit I'm a tad jealous of him being in sunny and beautiful San Diego while driving a Mustang convertible (I want one so bad it is sad)
  • I think him being away is a vivid reminder of what's to come
  • Work is killing me
  • Hormones are at play
  • Our dogs were going nuts
Do you ever have days where you snap? Over react? 



Preppy in Pink said...

Oh,'s hard when you miss someone so much and it's hard being alone now. Just wait till his return for some snugglebuggle :)

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

My husband knows not to bother me when packing for a trip. I get in my head about what I need to bring and if anyone pops me out of that state, I'm not very nice about it.

There are lots of reasons why people snap. It's usually not intentional and often can be handled ... differently, if not better.

At least you and J were willing to discuss your differences and meet somewhere in the middle. I swear communication and compromise are two keys to healthy relationships!