Never the Same

My boss says "Trust is like Grandma's vase once broken it can be put back together but it is never the same."

As I go through the parts of my parents divorce I am constantly reminded that things will never be the same. On Monday I had to go to the lawyer's office for the deposition for Mom and Dad's divorce. They needed someone who knew the beginning and the end to verify Mom's statement. I admit this hit me harder than I thought it would. I get it is a needed part of the process but still to have to do it for your parents was rough. But it is done. Then I just have to go sign the document so it can go to the judge. Then their divorce will be processed in the courts.

I will admit that Mom and Dad both seem happier since they have separated. It is probably something that should have happened years ago. I'm still sorry that it has happened. I don't care what age you are divorce is not something you expect for your parents.  

What I am grieving is that my family will never be the same. We will never have holiday dinners together. We will never share family memories together. It will always be different than it was. Is change bad? No, but it is change and change takes time.

Good things come out of bad things. And that is what I'm holding on to during this experience. That and my favorite quote...

God never gives me more than I can handle I just wish He didn't have such faith in me. ~ Mother Theresa

The Big D - Divorce

First off let me say this is not about J and I. We are doing great we just celebrated our one year wedding anniversary in September.

The end of summer and this fall have been a difficult time for my family. My father has asked my mother for a divorce. It has been a core shaking event in my life and in my family. They have been married for 42 years. I'm not going to go into the details because that is their business but I will say it has been a tough journey. My father is not behaving in any way like the man I thought I knew. I realize my parents are people and they aren't perfect, they make mistakes, etc but I've always been a daddy's girl and this has been hard. He keeps using the phrase "clean brake" well that doesn't work after 42 years and two children. The kicker is that this came right after my brother got married and right before J left so it was a lot all at once.

Our main concern is that mom is taken care of financially. She has health issues that make a job difficult at best so she will be dependent on alimony. Ultimately we think she will be fine but this isn't the life she expected so she is going through a mourning process over the divorce and over the loss of the life she thought she had. My brother and I just want the best for her. The good news is as part of this she is being much more adventurous. So we'll see. But it is a tough transition for all of us.