Why I Love America's Got Talent...

Last night this man tried out for America's Got Talent he's a vet who served for 14 years and was injured in Afghanistan and I'll let him tell you his full story...get your tissues

I Will Thrive: Deployment Stories - When They Come Home

No he's not home. I wish he were but he's not. And it looks like he won't be home for a long time as in not til December/January time frame. But I've been doing a lot of thinking about when he comes home. I blame the show Homecoming. Which I've stopped watching because for me it makes me miss him more and I get slightly jealous.

I've been wondering what it will be like when he comes home for R&R and more specifically for good. I miss him dreadfully but I've become accustomed to him not being here. I only have to worry about myself and the dogs right now. If I want to go out I only have to consult my calendar. As far as cooking (or not) I only have to worry about  me. If something needs to be done I do it or find someone who can. Some days it scares me how easily I've slid back into my single habits. And I know that I've changed in the time that he's been gone, some for the better, some for the worse. I assume he has too. I can tell in our phone conversations that he too has gone back to his "single" mentality. But being in the situations he has been in and going through what he's gone through changes a person.

We've been through one R & R and we'll have one more in the December/January time frame then he'll be home for good sometime next summer. I've decided the best thing we can do is just talk like we always do and lay it out there. Discuss our expectations, our concerns, our joys, etc with each other openly and honestly so that we are both on the same page. And have patience with each other. It will have it's challenges but I think it can also be a fun time when we reconnect with each other.

**as a disclaimer when I say single I mean the habits of doing things without consideration of another not in the romantic sense, both of us are very committed to our marriage and each other and distance hasn't changed that**

What are your thoughts on reconnecting?

The Voice: Faithfully

Last night on the Voice one of the battle duets was the song Faithfully by Journey. The song truly fit the two guys singing it because they were young family men trying to get a career started to take care of their families.  I admit I shed a few tears because their rendition was so moving. 


As I sat there watching I was struck by how appropriate this song is for a military couple. Just look at the words "restless hearts sleep alone tonight" or "and being apart ain't easy on this love affair, two strangers learn to fall in love again, I get the joy of rediscovering you." So today I leave you with the video and the lyrics.  


What song seems to be a perfect description of you life right now?






Highway run into the midnight sun 
Wheels go round and round 
You're on my mind 
Restless hearts sleep alone tonight 
Sending all my love along the wire 
They say that the road 
ain't no place to start a family 
Right down the line it's been you and me 
And loving a music man 
ain't always what it's supposed to be 

Girl 
you stand by me 
I'm forever yours 
faithfully 
Circus life under the big top world 
We all need the clowns to make us laugh 
Through space and time 
Always another show 
Wodering where I am lost without you 
And being apart ain't easy on this love affair 
Two strangers learn to fall in love again 
I get the joy of rediscovering you 

Oh girl 
you stand by me 
I'm forever yours 
faithfully 
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh 
oh oh oh oh oh oh 
faithfully 
I'm still yours 
I'm forever yours 
Ever yours 
faithfully 

Fear

So right now I'm blessed and I get to talk to my husband on the phone almost daily. At some point we will go back to email only conversation but for now I will enjoy person to person. And we've had some pretty interesting conversations.

One of late has been about fears. I knew I had fears about the "what ifs" of him being in dangerous situations what I didn't realize is that he does too. And I asked him to "unpack" it a bit for me. He said in the past he'd gone into dangerous situations that he hadn't really worried too much about whether he got home or not because there wasn't anyone to come home too. (He's wrong...he has a very large family that would have missed him horribly) Now though he has me and he says now when he goes into dangerous situations he worries about making it through to come home to me. At first this concerned me because he's always had the "I'm Captain America and I'm unstopable" attitude. But the more I thought about it the more I determined that having a little fear is a good thing. I think it keeps him humble and focused. And I think he stays on top of the people under him to make sure they are trained well too. As it says above...[Courage is realizing something else is more important than Fear...]

He has often told me that he loves his job (most days) because it isn't all about him there is a bigger purpose and cause at play. And in his mind he fights in other parts of the world so that we don't have to fight at home. I'm proud of what he and his fellow sailors do and the sacrifices they make. (as well as what all the branches do and the sacrifices they make)

Are there times when your spouse surprises you or shares something you didn't know?

Act of Valor

I went to see Act of Valor over the weekend. I won't talk too much about the content because I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it. I will say that I truly enjoyed the movie. I thought it was well done and showed the Navy Seals and Riverines in action without giving away real trade secrets. I really liked the way they depicted the camaraderie of the Navy Seals and of the families. I thought it would be more of a tear jerker than it was but most of it was action oriented.The movie was a fairly typical military action movie. And if you don't like that kind of movie I would suggest you avoid it. But I loved it and I would recommend it.   

A few observations about the crowd. We went to the 4:30 pm showing at a theater where you can order dinner and drinks. The show seemed to be sold out. There were a number of people in the audience that appeared to be military. There were some young kids which I was surprised by. The movie wasn't super graphic but it got the point across and there was some language. For the most part once the movie started the audience was quiet (quieter than normal) except for the woman in front of me. First she was annoyed because they got there late so she missed her opportunity to order food so she had to go out to do it. Then she proceeded to get up every 20 minutes or so to go get more food and alcohol.But the final straw for me was during one of the final very tense fighting scenes when she decided to go on Facebook on her phone to read updates and nudged her significant other to read them. So during a serious scene in the movie I have this crazy bright smart phone in my line of sight. It was extremely distracting and to me it seemed like something that could have waited until later. I was going to ask her to put it away but about the time I was ready to say something she put it away. I suspect what happened is that her guy wanted to come and she did not so she didn't care about watching the movie. I guess I figure for the cost of a movie I wouldn't waste my money coming to see something I didn't want to see.

So did you see any good movies this weekend?

Deployments Easy Huh?

Source

I briefly mentioned this in last Monday's random post. I have a friend T who has been dating a guy who is in the Air Force for 5 months. He is currently stationed at a local base so they see each other on weekends and week day evenings as schedule allows. Currently it isn't very different from dating a guy in a civilian job (kinda like when J was on shore duty I got spoiled) he isn't in immediate danger and has a 9-5 schedule so to speak. Well two weeks ago he got the heads up that he was deploying. T called a girl's night so we could help her work through it. During our 6 hour pow wow she kept saying "the deployment is easy, I know I can handle that because it's easy." At the time I just kind of nodded and smiled because she was on a roll. She said she was more worried about their relationship status and where they were headed. I get that. There is a lot of uncertainty in a relationship with a deployment but have a relationship that is still trying to define itself and add a deployment it is unnerving. Then less than a week later they learned he wasn't going because someone else was deploying instead.

After dwelling on mulling this over a bit because that's what I'm struggling with the fact that she repeatedly said deployments were easy. The sarcastic side of me wants to say "really they're easy huh? And you know this how because of all of your vast experience with deployments and the military?" But two things came to play on this first she's a friend and that isn't really a way to talk to a friend and second I heard Wife on the Roller Coaster in my head calling those of us who have more military experience to help educate those who are new. T has never been affiliated with the military she was born and raised in one place and no one close to her has ever been military. Having grown up as an Air Force brat I had a good idea of what I was getting into with J. T does not fully grasp the military life. She however thinks she gets it completely. And makes comments that could be taken wrong in certain crowds. So here are my words of wisdom for her.

Be aware of your audience. There will be times when you are in a circle with someone
whose spouse has been deployed many times with a short turnaround,
or someone whose spouse is in a very dangerous area or
you may be in a group with a spouse who lost her spouse during a deployment.
Do not assume you know how something is until you've gone through it.

It may be easy for you and that is great but most likely it will be harder than you think.
Just because I'm not a basketcase 24/7 doesn't mean I find deployment easy.
I just don't wear my emotions on my sleeve because that's not who I am.
How would you feel if I said being a single mom was easy. I'm not one. I don't know.
So I don't make comments because I don't live your life.
Listen to the advice of those who have been through it (military life).
We are more than happy to share, support, and encourage.

But don't tell us you know how it is and it is easy because you don't know yet and it isn't.
Show us respect and we will respect you.

Monday Randomness

 Ok I'm slightly annoyed I had a nice long post about Random things typed up and when I hit publish only the last two came up so I'm retyping this with the hope that I will remember everything. Grrr...

• Whitney Houston - I'm sorry she died and I truly feel for her daughter. I hope we don't get too caught up in making her into something bigger than she should be just because she died younger than she should have. 

• Snow - I love snow and on Saturday night we got a whole inch (in this area that's a big deal to me that's nothing) and it was very pretty on Sunday morning. By Sunday afternoon it had melted.

• Knee Update -  I went to the Dr this morning and she wants me to increase my ibuprofen usage she seems to think this will take care of the worst of it for now. This made me happy since I didn't want surgery at all.

• Shamrock Marathon/Towne Point 8K -I'm still ok to do the 8K but I need to walk it NO RUNNING and I need to pace myself so back to training I go! 

• Knitting - my cowl is almost done then I plan on moving on to a hat for the hubby. I'll post pictures when it is done.

• Deployments are easy huh? - a girlfriend of mine has been dating a military guy for the past 5 months and they are unfortunately going to experience their first deployment (her first not his). On Saturday she told me "the deployment will be easy, I'm not worried about it at all, I know I can handle it because it's easy." I pray it is easy for her but in the event that it is not I will be there to support her however I can.

•  Stirring the Pot - the original post by an young Army wife that contained anti-Guard material is gone but there have been responses all over the MilSpouse community. I admit I had some negative responses of my own but I think Wife on a Roller Coaster had the best response on her blog.

• Redecorating - I need want to do something to our bedroom. I want to get new bedding, new curtains, new paint, everything. I think part of this is having him gone and part of this is spring fever. I haven't decided what exactly but here are some of my inspirations...

Amy Butler Morning Blossom Sheet Set

Home by Steve Madden, Sanibel Comforter Set

Natori Bedding, Sumatra Collection

If You Want to Make the Military Laugh...

...tell them your plans.

J and I had made tentative plans for him to come home this fall for R and R but due to some schedule changes this is not looking good and it is likely he won't be home at all this year. We knew that this was a potential issue but we hoped it would work out. I know that the military doesn't try to mess up family plans and that they are actually quite supportive of Geo Bachelors so I'm not upset with them. But I confess I'm upset at the situation because that means it will be over a year (more like 18 months) before I see him again. I've decided though that wallowing in it will do me no good. But I admit I did do some shopping therapy and some eating therapy in the process.

Now I have decided instead of dwelling on things I don't have control over, that I'm going to focus on what I do have control over...myself. I have been on a weird eating binge and a lack of exercise binge for quite some time. So last week I had class two of the weight loss Bible study (I lost 3.5 lbs) I lead and between that and my body grumbling I'm looking to get back on track. I've been doing better with eating (most days). So now I just have to get off my butt and get moving. I've been doing yoga which is helping my stress level but I need to get back to walking and other cardio. Plus I want to get back to strength training. The kicker is I don't quite have the motivation to do it yet. But I've signed up to do an 8K on March 17th so I need to get the motivation.

Team Loyalty Gone Too Far

View more videos at: http://nbcnewyork.com.

I'm all for team loyalty to your favorite team. I cheer for the Red Sox, the Patriots (New England Girl), and the Red Wings (hubby's from Detroit). I have a vested interest in Football because of playing Fantasy Football. I love watching hockey and I'll admit I'm ok with a fight or two on the ice. 

But when you decided to beat someone because their team won and yours lost then it has gone too far. Monday Night after the Winter Classic a New York Rangers fan who was also a former Marine and off-duty cop was beaten by three Philadelphia Flyers fans to the point that he needed stitches and has a concussion. I will say that people did try to stop the guys from Philadelphia and they tried to help the Rangers fans.

Seriously over a stupid hockey game? I'm sure alcohol was involved and I'm sure things were said by both sides but that's where it should stop. No one should end up in the hospital because of a game.

Here's another article.

What are your thoughts?

Military Spouse Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
there was a prayer being said by a military spouse.
Her husband was away this holiday season,
and she knew it was for a good reason.

He was protecting her freedoms,
and those of people who he never knew.
Although it was hard to have him gone,
she knew it was something he must do.

He stood not alone for many stood by his side,
men and women who would lay down their life.
Christmas would come as it did every year,
and those men and women still stand without fear.


Although families may be apart,
our men and women are always in our heart.
We have pride in all they do,
and we appreciate that you do too.

As we celebrate the birth of Christ our King,
with presents under the tree, and carols to sing.
Let us give thanks to God for His Son,
and for those who guard our home.

For peace on earth we still pray,
so our loved ones will no longer have to fight.
Until that day let us just say...
Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night.

Written by  M. N. Collins

Dancing with the Stars: A Testimony

J.R. & Karina dancing

First off...I've watched Dancing with the Stars for a number of seasons and I have never thought the finals were as well balanced as they were this season. To me J.R., Ricki, and Rob all deserved to win the mirror ball trophy. And I was shocked that Ricki was the 3rd place winner but all of them were so good.

Now onto my point. I am beyond thrilled that J.R. won! And here's why...he went through a horrific experience in Iraq having been injured during an explosion. He spent 34 months in recovery at BAMC and underwent 33 different surgeries including skin grafts and cosmetic surgery. He certainly  had his struggles in the recovery process. And I think his winning Dancing with the Stars (yes I know it's just a dance competition) speaks volumes about what you can do when you put your mind to it. Life certainly has it's share of stumbling blocks and J.R.'s has had some big ones but he has overcome them. I hope his acting and his participating in and winning Dancing will be an inspiration to others. I hope when people look at them they'll see that with faith, tenacity, and strong will they can do whatever they want to do. I really think he has a gift of inspiration and I hope other military men and women will be inspired.

For more information about his story...please check out his website.

Land of the Free...Because of the Brave

 Ok maybe it is the way I was raised...maybe it is because I'm a military brat...maybe it's because I'm a military wife...maybe it's because I'm an American...but there are a few things I believe...

• Respect the National Anthem.You should stand, take your hat off, stop talking, and put your hand on your heart (or at your sides) when the National Anthem is sung or played.
• Respect the American Flag. If you put a flag out you have it lit or take it in at night, get rid of it properly if it is looking ratty or otherwise torn, and make sure it is not touching the ground.
• Respect the President. Whether you like him (or her) or not, respect the President of the United States because they are the President of the United States.
• Respect the Men and Women who serve in the military. I'm sorry you disagree with our actions in other countries but the freedom of speech does not give you a right to bash the very people who defend that freedom (the military protesters kill me). 
• Respect our Country. Ok I get it you don't like what the government is doing and yes it is your right to ask questions and challenge them to do better. But that very country/government that you bash is the reason you can bash it. If you lived in a lot of other countries you would be drug out in the street and beat or killed for saying anything against the government or the country. So respect and appreciate that you are an American. 

I'm sure there is more but I've ranted enough for one day so for today I'm done.

Today is not one of those days...

I applaud the Navy (all military) wives that can talk about how awesome deployment is and how they love it and what a great thing it is for their relationship, etc. some days I can do that too. Today is not one of those days. As some of you know my husband is on Geo Bachelor assignment to Japan so ours is a bit different. He left in September of last year and came home in June for R&R. The next time it is likely he'll be home is next fall sometime. I'm ok with this I handle it ok most days.

Today is not one of those days. We've been able to talk to each other on the phone a lot lately but now due to some changes in duty he and I are back to talking by email randomly. Now I know email is better than nothing and that some people go much longer than that without talking to their spouses so I'm grateful about email but I'm having issues today with not getting to start my day hearing his voice. And to top it off I missed a call yesterday afternoon from him which would have been the last for a while.

I know this is temporary and I know that this is not a crisis but today is not a good day for me.

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition - Preview Review

My little blog is going big time...a little while back I was approached by Corby Pons from Different Drummer to watch the upcoming season premiere episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Addition. I was so excited to be chosen I was chomping at the bit to see the episode. When I got the link I watched it immediately. I was not disappointed. It is a special episode from a military perspective. Barbara Marshall, retired Navy Officer (chaplain) and her late husband James started the Jubilee House for homeless female veterans and their children. The goal of the Jubilee House is to help these women get back on their feet and according to Barbara to "help women get back into the game of life." They gain housing, career counseling, and much more to help them restore themselves. As usual it was a moving, emotional episode, that reminded me of how blessed I am and what people can do when they work together.

Tune in Sunday, September 25th at 

7:00 PM/6:00 central on ABC to see the Season Premiere!!!

Some of the highlights:

• The show opened with going to the White House to meet Mrs. Michelle Obama who is very active in Joining Forces.
• Then we met Barbara, her son, and the other ladies of the Jubilee House. 
• Barbara took Ty on a tour of the house to show him some of the areas that were in desperate need of repair including the "swamp" basement that had standing water/mud.
• The families from the Jubilee House were sent to Disney World to have fun.
• All branches of the military were involved in helping with this makeover. It was fun to see them working side by side.
• There were many surprises throughout the show for the ladies who live at Jubilee House and for those who have been through the program including a Career Expo put on by Sears.
• Another big surprise was a well known superstar singer.
• Ty worked very hard to give Barbara a space for herself. 
• The other designers worked to give the current residents of the Jubilee House a special space with special touches just for them.
• And of course an amazing reveal of the house with surprise after surprise!!

I cannot encourage you enough to watch this show. If you are military, former military, a military spouse, a military brat, or a civilian you will be moved by Barbara's story and by the stories of the other women at the Jubilee House. It was a fun, exciting, moving episode!

In Honor of the Fallen

In honor of the fallen: 

• 31 lost
• 31 unwanted visits
• 31 doors receive that dreaded knock
• 31 families with shattered hearts
• 31 pairs of boots lined up with rifles and dog tags and helmets
• 31 comrades remembered and grieved for 
• 31 funeral services 
• 31 names on newly made grave markers
• 31 empty places at the table
• 31 souls who gave all, whose lives leave a void, 
• so take 31 seconds to pray and pay respect.

My Heart Stopped...Figuratively

I work in a church. We have funerals from time to time. Last Monday we had a funeral for a very dear church member. He was being cremated but his widow still wanted the flag presentation at the funeral since he was retired Army. The funeral home arranged for military men and women from the local bases to come including a bugler to play taps. I knew this was going to be tough for me because of J.

What I didn't count on is what happened Monday afternoon. The funeral wasn't until 3:00 PM. It was about 1:00 PM. I'm sitting at my desk. My office has windows into our hallway and my office is one of the first you get to when you come in the back door. At 1:00 PM last Monday my heart stopped. Three people walked into our building in full military dress. For a brief second my heart stopped...I started to feel the tears...and a whirl wind of emotions. Then my brain kicked in thankfully and I asked them if they were here for the funeral. They were and I led them to our sanctuary. More came and it was a beautiful flag presentation but Taps always does me in. They did a great job. 

When I mentioned it to my co-workers they were so caring. They really wanted to know if I was ok. And my boss pointed out that I function in such a different world because it never would have occurred to him to think that when seeing the military people. One of the church people said "well first they would have sent a Chaplin and second there would have only been two and third none of them are a high enough rank to bring that news." I explained that my brain put that together but that was after my heart stopped.  

Funny part of this story. I was talking to J on Wednesday. We hadn't had a chance to talk since it happened on Monday. And I told him my heart had stopped Monday. He thought I meant literally and freaked out before I could ever tell my story. So once I got him calmed down and told him the story his exact quote was "well damn that sucked but I'm ok."

Saying "see you soon"

Ok sorry for the absence I meant to write I did but my hubby was home and well spending the evening on the computer just didn't win out. But I'm back. I put my hubby on a plane again over the weekend. I knew it was coming...I knew it would suck...I did really well until he had to board. They let me go to the gate again and I was doing well drinking my juice and eating my bagel. Then they called his row and the tears came.

To be honest I really thought it would be easier this time. We survived the first 8 months and we only have two years left. I'll get to see him again in about a year give or take. We can do this. I can do this. But it doesn't make the good bye easier. It was so amazing to have him home. To kiss him good night and good morning in person. To feel his touch. To know at the end of the day he was going to be here. Now I am back to email, text messages, IMs, and phone calls. Now I realize that is better than nothing. And I realize things could be worse. (let me wallow for a day or two) I miss him and I want him home for good darn it.

For now it is what it is and we will survive and thrive.

Military Branches

Ok just a warning this is a rant...you've been warned.


Saturday night I was at a party...a number of active duty and retired military people were there. The conversation went to military branches. I was talking to a man who is active duty Army. I told him J is active duty Navy. This started a whole thing of which branch was better. There were comments made about the Air Force not being as strong as the Navy and the Army. Then there were  comments made about the Army being better than the Navy. Then there were jokes made about the Marines. The long and short of it was it was on its way to becoming a pissing contest about one branch being better than an other. It started out light hearted but it moved to serious.

My husband is active duty Navy. My father is retired Air Force. We have friends in the Army. We have friends in the Marines. We have friends in the Coast Guard. All of them do an important job. So why is it necessary to say one branch is better? We need protection on air...and land...and sea. We need all of the branches and all of the positions in the branches to keep us protected. It just makes me mad. Now I'm all for good ribbing among military people...joke on each other but when you get serious about it...it needs to stop.We are in this together. And I'm glad we have multiple branches of the military.

The Evolution of Your Fears

Sunday night I watched Army wives. As a regular person it would have been touching and possibly make you teary. As a military wife it was a tear jerker, honestly I think anyone who has someone affiliated with the military would have found it to be a tear jerker. It was well written, well acted, and well done over all. Although I cried through a lot of it I really enjoyed the show. It showed the sacrifices that the military make in a very real way.

It got me to thinking about my fears and how they have truly evolved over the years. As a child I feared the usual things the dark, monsters under my bed, etc. As I got a little older I feared having my head covered with blankets, etc (this is still true today...it isn't a fear but I don't like it).

When I was in upper elementary we were in Alaska and the Cold War was raging and my fears went to what happened if Russia attacked us. My father was in the Air Force and worked on the radars in Alaska and on more than one occasion got called in to deal with "visitors" who were in our air space. My mother helped calm this fear by explaining to me that people like my Dad from both the U.S. and Russia worked to keep the peace. This helped a lot.

When my Dad was in Saudi Arabia my fear was something would happen to him. Thanks to my brother being in NY City, London, and a few other places during or right before an explosion (not 9-11) I worried about him a lot.

When I was married the first time I worried that I would never be good enough physically, mentally, or emotionally. My ex was a tad verbally abusive. When I got divorced I worried I would be alone for the rest of my life. But after some deep internal thought I determined that being alone for all the right reasons beat being married for all the wrong ones...hands down.

Now my biggest fear is the black car pulling up in front of my house and the two men getting out to inform me that the Navy regrets to inform me....it isn't something I dwell on every day but it is something that is in the back of my mind. J once said to me that I had lived without him so if something happened I would survive without him. He is right but it doesn't mean I want to know how.

I want to thank all the military families who have lost a loved one in the call of duty. Today's military men and women are willingly in the military and they know the risks involved. They are willing to die for their country, for you, and for me. Their families are proud of their service to the country but the loss is felt deeply none the less. So to those who have a loved one who has died or been injured serving our country THANK YOU!!!

I Will Thrive - Unknowns of Deployment

Since J left for the most part I do fine. I'd even say I do great all things considered. I miss him like crazy but I go about my life just fine. I go to work. I spend time with my friends. I take care of the house and pets. I am working on losing weight. I am leading First Place 4 Health. I am taking exotic dancing classes (and loving them!!). I have helped my Mom move not just once but twice now. I feel like most days I have it under control.

But there are a lot of unknowns in deployment and some days those stress me out.

1. When and where the ship will be...I am not of the paygrade to be privy to the ship's schedule. I am ok with this but it can cause some stress because I don't know where he is. He is underway in the Pacific somewhere that is all I know. 
2. When I'll hear from him...some days we're blessed and he is online through email a lot. Other days I only get a quick short email. And some days I don't hear from him at all. So far we've been blessed with good communication but we have had a couple times where communication was shut down from the ship. It is a tad unnerving not to hear anything at all but I try to think no news is good news.
3. What is going to happen with his base...he is stationed at Yokosuka, Japan. Currently the base has voluntary evacuation and they are monitoring the levels of radiation. We are assuming they will get this under control before the ship is due back. But time will tell.
4. If you want to make them laugh...tell the military your plans...oh this is so true. It stinks as a military family but it is to be lived by. I try not to get my heart set on any one thing schedule wise because if the military can they will mess it up change things. We are trying to make travel plans...we are buying insurance.
5. Trust is important...he knows my life here...he knows my friends...my job...my routine...etc. I know nothing of his life there...his friends...his job...his routine...etc but I trust him completely and totally. He knows this and he trusts me. And really I don't think it matters if your significant other is 10 inches...10 miles...or 10,000 miles away...if you don't trust them there is a big problem. But I admit I worry about his safety when he goes out drinking or whatever because I don't know these people and I don't know if they have his back. He says they do so again I trust him.
6. Patience is a virtue...there is a lot of waiting involved in life in general but the military puts it to a new level of expertise. You don't know what will happen. Anticipation and assumption can drive you crazy. So be patient...it will work out exactly as it is supposed to work out.

Good luck!!