Where I Wish I Was Wednesday

Dear Sick Co-worker,

Picture from Supernatural Botanicals

To my dear sick co-worker,

I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. Please stay home and rest and recover. Seriously. When you come to work to try and work through it, you share your germs with all of us. Please stay home until you are well and go to the doctor to get the proper medicine. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Your co-worker who is now getting sick thanks to you

I will Thrive...Deployment stories

J is in Japan for three years. It is his last three years and we'll get to see each other but it is tough none the less. Most of the time I do fine...I have moments but overall I'm good. And I've decided to set deployment goals for the time he is gone. I figure a) goals are good, b) goals will keep me busy, and c) goals will help the time pass.
Just like my business I've decided that you guys can help keep me honest. So here they are. If the list seems long keep in mind I have three years... (Please realize some of these require outside people)

Personal

• Start my business selling purses and jewelry
• Get back to working out regularly (it really helps with my stress level)
• Work on eating healthier
• Eat at home five nights a week
• Cook at least three nights a week
• Go out with friends or family once a week
• Pamper myself once a month with a pedicure, manicure, etc

Home

• Get our basement and attic organized
• Start getting other rooms cleaned out and put together
• Paint the bedrooms
• Put in a fence for the dogs (and me)
• Replace carpet in the living room and upstairs
• Paint the exterior of the house
• Replace our garage door (it has issues)
• Redo the bathroom

Work

• Get training on inDesign, Illustrator, and Photoshop
• Work to expand our Carnival
• Revamp our marketing publications 

Baby Steps in Business

So in my family...my brother is the math, science, and business whiz. Which is good because he works in finance and he is good at it. I on the other hand am better with the creative side of things...I hated math and loved English and Art. But he is a great resource for me. As I've mentioned before I want to start my own business selling handmade accessories. So I made up a business plan (which I've never done) and my brother read through it. He made some very good suggestions: keep it simple in the beginning, get a domain name, get business card, keep it legal, set goals, etc. He made a very good point that this is the perfect time to do this since J is gone and I have time on my hands. So I'm going to use this blog to help keep me on task...here's my current to do list (in no particular order):

• Create a business name ~ mncollins designs
• Get a domain name  ~ mncollins designs.com (not live yet)
• Get a tax certificate and a DBA (doing business as)
• Get business cards
• Make purses and jewelry
• Set-up an Etsy site
• Open a bank account
• Set goals for sales and business
• Start spreading the word

So we're on our way to having a business!!

Your Animal's Rights vs My Animal's Rights

AKA My current challenges walking my dogs...

I have been trying to take Eva and Ares for walks in the mornings.

1. Because it is good for them  
2. Because it is good for me  
3. Because it makes them calmer and less destructive 

But I've hit a bit of a glitch along the way. A few blocks away is a Rottweiler (before anyone jumps I love Rottweilers and as a Pit Bull owner I'm defensive of other dogs who get a bad rap I'm just including it for size reference.) who lives outside all the time, all day every day. I actually feel bad for him because it gets hot and cold in Virginia.

They have a waist high wrought iron fence around their yard with a very poor gate at the back for the drive way. If he wanted to he could jump the fence or he could easily break through the gate. He hasn't so far. He isn't fixed so he is territorial. Every time we walk the dogs past him he charges the fence and puts his paws up on the top, etc. So I decided to avoid the situation...or so I thought. I decided instead of going straight I'd turn down the street and walk down around the block to avoid his yard. Well walking down the block across the street from his yard he still charged the fence and tried to get to Eva. He went to the back gate and nosed at it but that was it. But I'm very worried about him getting out and I think because he is so territorial it would get ugly fast and I wouldn't be able to do much about it. So I've decided just to completely skip his block all together when I walk to avoid the situation.

I worry about him because I think he is neglected which is another issue for his energy. And as I said he is territorial because he spends all day in that yard. Other neighbors have the same issue with their dogs. Fortunately there hasn't been a serious issue.

The Big D - Divorce

First off let me say this is not about J and I. We are doing great we just celebrated our one year wedding anniversary in September.

The end of summer and this fall have been a difficult time for my family. My father has asked my mother for a divorce. It has been a core shaking event in my life and in my family. They have been married for 42 years. I'm not going to go into the details because that is their business but I will say it has been a tough journey. My father is not behaving in any way like the man I thought I knew. I realize my parents are people and they aren't perfect, they make mistakes, etc but I've always been a daddy's girl and this has been hard. He keeps using the phrase "clean brake" well that doesn't work after 42 years and two children. The kicker is that this came right after my brother got married and right before J left so it was a lot all at once.

Our main concern is that mom is taken care of financially. She has health issues that make a job difficult at best so she will be dependent on alimony. Ultimately we think she will be fine but this isn't the life she expected so she is going through a mourning process over the divorce and over the loss of the life she thought she had. My brother and I just want the best for her. The good news is as part of this she is being much more adventurous. So we'll see. But it is a tough transition for all of us.

Beach Ball Moments

I'm back. Sorry for the long absence. I promise I will explain.

When I went through my divorce I read a book called Breaking and Mending: Divorce and God's Grace. It is a great book and I recommend it for both those going through a divorce and those going through a big break-up. This book was a big part of my recovery which later left me open to meet and eventually marry the man of my dreams.

One of the concepts I loved in this book was the "beach ball moment." Mary Lou Redding explains it in these terms (I'm paraphrasing) if you try to hold a beach ball under water it will work for a while but eventually it will pop back up when you aren't expecting it. She goes on to say this can happen with emotions too. If you keep them in and you keep them in they will eventually pop out when you don't expect them. An example of this is you're in the grocery store and something rings up wrong and instead of calmly explaining that it was marked differently you fly off the handle at the poor clerk. You aren't really mad at the clerk you are taking out other feelings that you haven't dealt with out on her.

I had a beach ball moment last night at work. We have a council meeting in the evening once a month and at the close of the meeting we do a closing prayer circle. I was doing good I'd talked about J being deployed earlier in the night no problems. But for some reason when I went to bring him up at the prayer time the tears came. And I'm not a pretty crier because my nose starts to go and I get sniffly. Then following the prayer I got lots of hugs and words of wisdom. One of which was tears are a necessary part of the process. So true. But I know it is because I was tired and it is still so new. I know we will survive and I hope grow from this experience but it is tough. I miss him horribly. Even our dogs miss them horribly.
And I know there will be other beach ball moments before it is all over.

So what are your beach ball moments?